Hello, and welcome to the Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
A number of listeners have written in with questions about demystifying the attire required for different types of invitations, so we’ll try to answer some of those questions today.
Whatever the occasion, it’s always good to put some effort into your appearance. This can help show your hosts and companions that you were looking forward to spending time with them, and may help you feel a little special.
Dressy clothes can be expensive, so if you’re on a budget it’s good to have some items that are very versatile. For women, the little black dress is a great staple, and for men a dark suit can get you through many occasions.
Besides having a good wardrobe, another challenge can be interpreting suitable attire based on the invitation, as times and expectations are changing when it comes to dressing up. So here are a few guidelines and suggestions to help you pick the right attire.
White Tie
It is very rare to be invited to a White Tie event, unless it is a diplomatic event. For a White Tie event, men should wear a white bow tie, white waistcoat and black jacket with tails. Women should wear an elegant floor-length evening gown, gloves and jewelry. Historically “Formal” meant White Tie, but nowadays Formal generally refers to Black Tie.
Black Tie
For women, this historically would have required a long dress, but today a short dress or evening suit may do. For men, this requires a tuxedo. A tuxedo should be worn with a tuxedo shirt with matching studs and cufflinks, a bowtie (preferably hand-tied), patent leather shoes, and either a cummerbund or a waistcoat (never both). If you wear a cummerbund, it should be worn with the pleats facing up.
Black Tie Optional
For Black Tie Optional, you’ll have a little more selection in what you wear. You may simply dress the same as you would for a Black Tie event, or women may also wear dressy separates and men may wear a dark suit and tie.
Creative Black Tie
Creative Black Tie allows you to interpret Black Tie with a modern flair. Women may still wear a cocktail dress or gown, or evening suit, and men may wear a tux but with a bolo tie, black shirt without a tie, or something more daring but in keeping with the theme.
Semi-Formal
Historically, Semi-Formal would have been what today we call Black Tie, but today Semi-Formal is usually equivalent to Black Tie Optional. It is worth asking your hosts to make certain you have the right attire, or simply dress for Black Tie.
Cocktail Attire
For women, the little black dress (or other short cocktail dress) is the classic attire, although a pants suit or dress suit (but not one that looks like a business suit) may also be worn. For men, it’s simply a dark suit and tie.
Dressy Casual
For men, dress pants and a jacket without a tie is a good choice, and for women dressy pants and blouse or jacket is fine.
Casual
Casual pretty much lets you wear what you want in a comfortable way.
Informal
Informal is one to be careful of, as it sounds like casual but may really mean Semi-Formal, so ask your hosts if you are unsure.
So here’s hoping you always find the perfect thing to wear, and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.
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