Hello, and welcome to the Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
After holidays or a life celebration (like a birthday or wedding), we’re often confronted by an etiquette question: is it OK to recycle gifts? So here are a few points to consider when tempted to return or re-gift something.
If the person giving you a gift is very sensitive, has made a big deal about what they have chosen for you, and is likely to come by and check on it, you may need to keep it around.
If it is something someone made for you themselves, you may have to face the fact that you’re stuck with Aunt Bertha’s needlepoint Elvis.
If someone has given you something so horrible you really can’t stand it, you probably should not re-gift it to someone else, unless you know for certain that it is something that person would absolutely love.
If you’ve received a generally useful gift, like some nice olive oil or chocolates, it is OK to re-gift it providing it is not old or spoiled in some way. It’s important to check expiration dates if present, as sometimes gifts may be stuck in cycles of re-gifting.
If you are going to re-gift, make sure to re-wrap the package if necessary (and always unwrap to check on the contents before re-gifting).
When re-gifting, make sure that it is a more appropriate gift for the recipient than it was for you. If you don’t think it’s a great match, then don’t re-gift.
Unless you have some reasonable knowledge about wine or have tasted the bottle you are considering re-gifting, it’s better to buy a new bottle from a reputable wine shop.
If you are going to re-gift, make very certain that the recipient is in no way socially or professionally connected to the person who gave you the gift in the first place.
If someone has given you clothing that you just wouldn’t wear, it’s generally OK to exchange it. A nice idea is to select something similar (say, the same sweater in a different color), so you can still compliment the person on the great selection, and how much you like the gift they have now given you.
Finally, if someone asks you directly about the gift they have given you, be honest but not hurtful. You might say something like, “It was really a beautiful jacket, but the fit was just a little bit off, and I was able to find a similar one at the same shop that I really adore. Thank you so much -- your great taste led me to my new favorite jacket!”
So here’s hoping you always find the perfect gift (or at least the perfect recipient), and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.
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