Dogs: So Inconvenient

Jolanta Benal, CPDT-KA, CBCC-KA,
September 21, 2011

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Last weekend I flew to Chicago -- very slowly. We sat on the tarmac, and then we sat on the tarmac some more, and eventually I'd read every word in my magazine. I scrounged around in the seat back pocket till I came up with the SkyMall catalogue.

Among the plantar fasciitis cures, the instant depilatories, and the Guilty Parent on Business Trip bribes ("Lucius Malfoy's Walking Stick," anyone?) were quite a few dog-related items. The more I looked at them, the sadder I got.

"The Freedom Leash" -- Basically, a handle with two extending leashes. The dogs in the photo are as far away from each other and the woman walking them as they can get. She's on the phone, so maybe they just don't like cell yell.

"The Ceramic Pet Fountain" -- Filter lasts up to 30 days. Because washing the bowl and putting in fresh water is just Too. Much. Trouble.

"The Porch Potty" -- Go ahead and sleep in late this weekend while your dog uses a fake-grass toilet box.

And, my favorite, the "Bark Free Pro," billed as "The Safe & Effective Way to Solve Your Barking Dog Problem." This indoor/outdoor speaker system delivers "ultrasonic tones" when barking starts. You can't hear it, the dog can. Turns off when barking stops (at least, you hope it does – if you can't hear it, how can you tell?). The deluxe model has four speakers, for maximum dog-bark-blasting mojo.

Maybe the Barking Dog is barking because the person buying these products doesn't walk her much, ignores her in favor of the cell phone when he does walk her, and has no interest in taking care of her even to the extent of changing a bowl of water. Oh, but ...

... dogs (and cats, and people) are supposed to be a certain amount of trouble.


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