Fiction writers often ask me how they should format their characters’ thoughts, which are also sometimes called internal dialogue. Should writers use quotation marks? Italics? Something else? Or nothing?
The hardest part about deciding how to format internal dialogue is that there is no definitive answer. It’s a style choice, and you will find different credible websites that make different recommendations, sometimes in very strong tones. One site will clearly state that you should use quotation marks, and the next will adamantly state that you should never use quotation marks. One will recommend italics, and another will recommend against italics. It’s enough to make you have some internal dialogue of your own. I will make a few points, but the best advice is to take it all with a grain of salt, and if you have an editor or agent, see what he or she prefers.
Italics for Internal Dialogue
When I look through the published books that I’ve read recently, I regularly see italics being used for a character’s thoughts, so it’s certainly done, and it’s certainly a common style.
Quotation Marks for Internal Dialogue
After reading various sources and their recommendations, I come down on the side that says you shouldn’t use quotation marks for a character’s thoughts. Quotation marks denote speech, and using them for internal dialogue could confuse your readers.
Internal Dialogue Without Formatting
Finally, in many cases, you don’t need any special formatting. For example, when you’re writing in third person, the narrator can tell the reader what characters are thinking.
Squiggly reminded himself that he had wanted to go on this nightmare of a fishing trip.
Aardvark could have told me we’d have to climb boulders, Squiggly thought, wondering whether Aardvark had withheld that information on purpose.
The same style can work in first person too:
Hurry up, I thought, shifting my bag and wishing the train would come.
Some writers would italicize “Hurry up” in that sentence, and although it would be fine, it’s also not necessary. Many of the books on my e-reader would have that italicized, but it’s simply your choice (or your editor’s choice).
One pet peeve in the redundancy department is to not write things such as “she thought to herself.” You don’t need the “to herself” part since the default state is that you’re the only one who can hear your thoughts. If you're writing about telepathy in science fiction, you may have more leeway.
I’ll also note that I did check the Chicago Manual of Style to see if it had an entry on this topic since it is the style guide used by many book editors. I couldn’t find an entry, but in the website’s “Shop Talk” section, Carol Saller, an editor of the “Lingua Franca” blog at the Chronicle of Higher Education, noted that she “is constantly removing italics used for . . . internal dialogue.” So, as tempting as it is to use italics, and as common as it is, remember that not everybody loves them.
The best advice is to choose your style (with input from your editor if you have one), and then use that style consistently.
Hill, B. “Inner Dialogue—Writing Character Thoughts.” The Editor’s Blog. May 17, 2012. http://theeditorsblog.net/2012/02/28/inner-dialogue-writing-character-thoughts/ (accessed October 30, 2014).
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