If you want to be a gym stud or studdette, follow along with the journey that turned me into an awesome manly-man.
You often hear people say “age gracefully.” Well, I met a famous young woman at a theater opening: Joan Rivers. OK, she wasn’t young. With so much plastic surgery, I think it's fair to say she isn’t aging gracefully; she’s going kicking and screaming. I say, “You go, er, girl.”.
I admit: I’m just scared. I’m approaching a “milestone birthday.” Yes, it's one of THOSE birthdays that...as a kid, you thought “I’ll never be that old.” I have no gray hair, but my dry cleaners were shrinking my pants. Every single pair. Even the ones I wash myself. I confronted them. Mrs. Wong whipped out her tape measure and in 30, agonizing sentences, explained that I had reached a time in my life when “changes” happen in my metabolism. At puberty, “changes” left me with a new capacity for pleasure. Now, “changes” will just leave me fat. This calls for denial, but even more, it calls for action. And that, dear friends, means the gym.
I’d worked with trainer Tyler several years ago and started getting into shape. Then Tyler won the MTV Challenge three times and moved to L.A. to pursue his career. While I love him like the Siamese twin brother I never had surgically removed from my torso, I wish he’d stop focusing on his career and focus on my body. He left, and I....well, I broadened.
I’m four months into my new gym commitment. In this episode, I’ll share how I’ve made it happen. After all, misery loves company. This is a two-part episode that will cover all the stages of my gym adventure. All from the angle, of course, of how to get it done.
Get the Attitude
Real results require real attitude. The gym isn’t just an activity, it’s a lifestyle. Joan didn’t just apply a little rouge here and there and say “I’m beautiful." She went for it. If you’re not prepared to commit, don’t fool yourself. Go buy some ice cream bon-bons, lay on the couch, and pork out.
So I grabbed my gym clothes, went out, straight to the supermarket, bought some bon-bons, laid on the couch, and porked out. Fortunately, I’m slightly lactose intolerant, which got me back off the couch a few minutes later.
Seriously, though, it was around this time that I made the conscious decision to commit. You can, too. Do it right now? Done? Great! Now, we’re not Get-Fit-Guy Ben Greenfield. He has 3% body fat, a medical condition proven to bring on hallucination and insane thoughts, like actually enjoying workouts. I don’t have that, and you probably don’t either. I needed to find my own motivation. I’ll recap. Come with me, and get motivated, too!