Getting the Love You Want: Interview with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt

The Savvy Psychologist talks to Drs. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, authors of the classic bestseller for couples, 'Getting the Love You Want,' now celebrating its 30th anniversary.

Ellen Hendriksen, PhD
Episode #234
getting the love you want

This week we say happy 30th anniversary to a classic book—Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couplesby Drs. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. If you don’t own one of the four million copies in print, you may recognize the title because Oprah has featured it on her show no fewer than 17 times. 

As you know, Savvy Psychologist is all about actionable tips, so I appreciate that the book contains 35 pages of 18 different concrete exercises couples can do together to enhance communication, increase the fun in their relationship, and fundamentally connect.

In our conversation, I asked Harville and Helen more about their method and theory. 

In this episode, you will learn:

  • The most common ways communication goes wrong, and how to fix it.
  • The three steps of safe conversation—mirroring, validating, and empathizing—and why each step is uniquely important.
  • How working on your weaknesses is a sign of love for your partner.
  • How a simple rule called the "zero negativity process" can dramatically impact your relationship.

Click the player above to listen to the conversation!

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. are partners in life and work. They are the co-creators of Imago Relationship Theory & Therapy, which has spread globally through Imago Relationships Worldwide, an organization that has trained over 2,500 therapists in over 53 countries. They are the authors of 10 books, including three New York Times bestsellers (Getting the Love You Want, Keeping the Love You Find, and Giving the Love That Heals). They are celebrating the 30th anniversary edition of Getting the Love You Want, which is now on sale wherever you like to get your books.

About the Author

Ellen Hendriksen, PhD
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