5 Ways To Be a Less Angry Parent

Five ways to help alleviate the stressors of parenting, keep your anger at bay, and allow you to enjoy the most out of raising your family.

Cheryl Butler
5-minute read
Episode #452

Tip #3: You Get what you Give

Many years ago, before I became a parent, I saw a quote that captured how I wanted to live: “Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. Remember, life is an echo. It always gets back to you. So give goodness.”

This quote sums up much of my philosophy about the energy and mood we as parents put out there when raising our family. If you give off a negative, irritated vibe, you will most likely receive that right back. That’s not to say we can’t have angry feelings from time to time throughout our parenting days, but if you can center yourself in a positive frame of mind when the going gets tough, for example, keep some slogans in your head to help you regain your composure. Say something to yourself every time you feel your emotions rising. It can be anything from “Stop” or “Breathe” or “Slow down” to my favorite, “This too shall pass.”

Whatever words will help you, take that moment and go through a list of priorities. I even have a mental picture in my head handy, my happy place, to calm myself down: I think of a beautiful beach with a comfy chair, a cool drink, and my favorite book just waiting for me to come relax in. Visualizing a happy outcome helps calm me down quickly and go from furious to serene.

Visualizing a happy outcome helps calm me down quickly and go from furious to serene.

Tip #4: Turn Your Voice Into a Whisper

Even when you're not angry, you may find yourself yelling, “Get in the car! We're late for practice!” If you make a softer voice a habit, you'll be less prone to yell at other times, too. When I turn the volume down and whisper to my kids, it gets their attention immediately because they know I have something important to say. One trick to try: Speak to your family members only when you're in the same room whenever possible, instead of yelling from room to room.

Tip #5: Ask for Help

There will never be a perfect parenting regimen, but there can be a much better balance between angry/resentful and relaxed/content if you’re willing to make tradeoffs in certain areas of your life. A large part of the successful balance equation is when parents finally realize they must tune into their own emotions as well as their own physical and mental health requirements. That way, when your tea kettle is about to boil over, you can recognize this and take the time to refuel your own tank. This is never easy, especially if you don’t like to ask for help, but once you realize the extreme importance of building a reliable support group of other parenting friends, family members, grandparents, and especially your spouse, you won’t be as likely to fall apart when your toddler stuffs your new scarf into the toilet (for the fifth time).  

How do you handle your angry parenting outbursts? Share your thoughts in the comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT

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All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.

About the Author

Cheryl Butler Project Parenthood

Cheryl L. Butler was the host of the Mighty Mommy podcast for nine years from 2012 to 2021. She is the mother of eight children. Her experiences with infertility, adoption, seven pregnancies, and raising children with developmental delays have helped her become a resource on the joys and challenges of parenting. You can reach her by email.