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3 Tips for Handling a Proposal Rejection

What should you do when you pop the big question and the person says "No?" Modern Manners Guy offers 3 tips - and a reality check.

By
Richie Frieman,
Episode #319

Tip #2: Don’t Go to Facebook

If you’re new to Modern Manners Guy (One, welcome! And two, where have you been?), you will quickly learn that talking about social media faux pas happens to be a favorite topic of mine. In fact, questions about proper Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram etiquette are among the most popular email queries I receive.

And one of the major complaints I hear is how people immediately take to Facebook to post their grievances about a bad day, bad job interview, bad date, rude family members, etc. Granted, Facebook can be a good sounding board to air your thoughts and get feedback, but when you’re really hurt, it’s not always best to log on and update your status with a novel about your broken heart.

Facebook can be a good sounding board to air your thoughts and get feedback, but when you’re really hurt, it’s not always best to log on and update your status with a novel about your broken heart.

Please do not think I’m being insensitive to people’s feelings - I mean, come on, I’m a manners expert! However, I’m also a reality check. So believe me when I say that when you post your recent rejection on Facebook, you will most likely be inundated not with support, but with gossip.

Here’s how the gossip chain works on Facebook:

Did you hear about how Tracy rejected Ryan?

I’m pretty sure it’s because he doesn’t want to move closer to her parents.

I heard it’s because he’s broke.

I bet the ring wasn’t big enough.

I knew she never really liked him anyway.

And so on...

Now, your life will be filled with answering question after question about why it didn’t work out, many based on assumptions. I promise you, my mannerly friends, as much as you want to let your “friends” know how you feel, posting on Facebook for everyone to see is not the proper approach.

I recommend simply talking to your core group of friends and family in person or on the phone, rather than your "social media friends." They will offer private advice that is worthwhile and not as invasive. They will likely ask “why?,” but that’s because they’re trying to be good friends - not gossip hounds.

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