3 Tips for the Vacation Home Guest

Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean your manners should be, too. Modern Manners Guy breaks down the possible pitfalls of being a vacation home guest--and reveals how not to lose a friend over them.

Richie Frieman,
July 20, 2014
Episode #304

Page 1 of 3

It's summertime, and millions of people (including myself) are looking forward to a beach vacation. If we're lucky, some of us may spend these seaside days as guests of friends or family members at their vacation home. >

Even though you are on vacation, being a guest can sometimes be a bit stressful. I mean, think about it--you either become the main focus as the “special honoree" of the trip, or you end up feeling like an outsider who is not used to the existing “house rules." And as much as you are told to just "relax and have fun," deep down, a guest is often worried about being too relaxed.

So, before you pack your SPF 50, and that bathing suit you’ve been running 100 miles a week to fit into, check out my top 3 quick and dirty tips for proper vacation home guest etiquette.

Tip #1: The Pack

Recently, Modern Manners Guy Twitter follower “Tim” was invited by his coworker,“Shawn,” to join him for a guy’s weekend at Shawn’s beach house. Fantastic, right? I mean, a bunch of guys being guys, doing guy things, at a beach for the weekend--what could be better? Tim stocked up on beer, brought his golf clubs, and was ready to ease into a nice, relaxing weekend “vacay."

Sadly, things did not go Tim’s way. Oh, it was a guy’s weekend away, but not exactly what he had in mind. Apparently, the weekend consisted of a vampire-like hibernation, with five grown men spending every waking second of sunlight indoors playing poker. Not exactly the way Tim imagined using Shawn’s beachfront escape. This was a situation where the larger pack and the guest of honor did not exactly see eye to eye.

So what do you do when you realize that everyone else in your group has completely different plans than you? Well, for starters, don’t call them out on it. A key luxury to being friends is being able to speak freely, but in a situation like this - where Tim had the right to be agitated – it wasn’t proper as a guest to lambaste the host for his own boring ways.

Being a guest doesn’t mean you lose all opinions and rights, but it does mean you have to respect the wishes of the host. After all, if not for the host, you wouldn’t be there... even if, like Tim, you end up wishing you were never invited in the first place.

Secondly, in life and on vacations, you have to go with the flow. But that does NOT mean you can’t do what you like. I mean, it’s your weekend away, too! Bottom line: play the game, literally and metaphorically. Hang out, play cards, but then feel free to do your own thing--and be prepared to possibly do it alone.

“Hey, fellas, I’m wiped out! You guys are way better at cards than me. I’m going to hit the beach for a few hours, while the pros have at it. Cool? If anyone wants to join, come on out!”

Granted, Tim may not have been trying very hard to win, but that’s neither here nor there. He made an effort, while at the same time not offending the host or other guests, and that's what counts.


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