How to Be a Proper Video Gamer
Video games are just games ... but man oh man are they also breeding grounds for highly improper behavior.
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The world of first person video games (the kind where people shoot, hunt, and/or kill one another in battle) is a multibillion dollar industry that feeds off its users’ ability to challenge one another for ultimate domination online. In fact, there are worldwide tournaments, one-on-one matches, and conventions celebrating the “sport” of gaming to further up the hype factor. However, it seems that these online games are a breeding ground for not only heavy competition, but also incredibly rude behavior.
Although I’m not a gamer, I enlisted the help of some friends who are to let me watch and listen to their gaming experiences. Friends, I was blown away with the improper activity that took place. I mean, isn’t this supposed to be fun? Could have fooled me! So, let’s press START and check out my top three tips for how to be a proper gamer.
Tip #1: It’s Not Real
As a former professional wrestler, I could very well be a foremost expert on comprehending the difference between reality and fantasy. I mean, the whole point of professional wrestling is to make believe that what you’re doing inside the ring is not make believe. However hard we fought in the ring, once one got into the locker room, he dropped the whole gimmick of “Hailing from Parts Unknown…” and go from “The Masked Bandit” to his real name, Steve. See, this requires properly understanding the difference between something that is pretend and real life. It’s okay to get really into what you’re doing—that’s why you play the game—but it’s not real life! And to think anything other than that is a highly improper. However, in these particular video games where people are on teams against one another, you would have never known this wasn’t an actual fight to the death.
Now, I’m all about getting into the game but man oh man was this intense. People yelled at each other, and they shouted random military terms as if real lives were on the line. Some of the terms I don’t even think are real and if they were, you had to be a Navy SEAL to understand them. You could tell there some “Alpha Players”—guys who literally play 24/7 (and probably still live in their parents' basements in their 30s) and insist on taking the lead as if the entire “digital platoon” is under their command. They were the worst. They’d rudely boss people around or bark orders like a drill sergeant. It made for a disaster game.
Look, folks, this is pretend to the greatest degree. Sure there are such things as “professional gamers” but even that is not make you a real soldier. Take a chill pill, guys… it really is just a game.