New Year's Resolution Revolution

Move over outrageous, unattainable New Year's Resolution and bring on the New Year’s Resolution Revolution! Modern Manners Guy's radical proposal for actually achieving your goals in 2014.

Richie Frieman
6-minute read
Episode #277

Tip #2: Become a Millionaire

The other popular New Year’s resolution is to attain insane amounts of wealth, which is so, oh what’s the word…insane!

Here’s the deal folks, as I say in my book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career, the world owes you nothing.  Especially when it comes to wealth. Here’s how you become rich overnight - you marry someone who is rich or you win the lottery. Both will bring you money, but not necessarily happiness.

So you have to think reasonably about your life. Are you in any position at your job to become a millionaire? I mean, sure the CEOs in your field make millions, but they've been in the industry for decades, probably have law degrees or MBAs, and make huge business decisions that affect thousands. So what makes you think you can achieve their wealth in just one year?

Instead, use the New Year’s Resolution Revolution to make a high, but attainable goal. For example, every day I write down what I need to do to make what I want in life happen. And then I take steps to succeed at each of those things. Most of the time it doesn’t happen that day, or that week, or that month…but I keep at it. Keeping a running list of my short-term and long-term goals helps me stay on track. It’s just a matter of putting what you want – and what you can obtain - into perspective.

If you find yourself in a job where the top position is not the one that brings you the riches you desire, then I recommend finding one that will.  Make a resolution to branch into another field – or a similar one with better financial options. Research the top positions in your industry and learn what it takes to get there. Will you strike it rich by May? Most likely not. But if you stay focused on your goal, and take the proper steps, you will see the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Tip #3: Fall in Love

Last week, a coworker told me her New Year’s resolution was to fall in love and get engaged next year. I asked her if she was already dating someone, which might lead to this goal being fulfilled. She said no.  That was concerning. If she had just started dating someone new, and feelings were mutually strong, then maybe she’d be on the right path. But falling in love and getting engaged in a year is not that easy. In fact, if your real goal is to just get engaged, chances are you’re skimping on the love part of the equation. Getting engaged only happens when both people are ready and saying “Propose by November or it’s over!” is hardly the best way to start a marriage.

Love – and marriage - is nothing you can or should rush. It's certainly nothing you should compromise on just to meet a goal you have in your head. (Notice how I didn’t say heart.)

I am a happily married man. I can’t fathom a life without Mrs. Modern Manners Guy. So I understand the desire to fall in love and get married. But making it a race? Or making it a New Year’s resolution? That is setting yourself up for disappointment. I’m not going to say how long you should wait to get engaged. In fact many people do it after a few months, which makes my coworker’s goal very reasonable. However, when you put that kind of pressure on yourself, you may be selling yourself short and might wind up settling for the wrong person.

When making a New Year’s resolution, don’t include a timeframe on love. Can you say “I resolve to try and fall in love”? Of course! Can you try to meet someone who wants what you do? Absolutely. But pressuring someone else just to meet an artificial goal will only put stress where there should only be happiness.

Do you have a great story about a New Year’s resolution gone wrong (or right)?  Post all the details in the comment section below.

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

And if you have any recent graduates on your in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career. It's available now!

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