Express Gratitude to Build Relationships

The simple act of saying "Thank You" when it's sincere and unexpected can deepen your relationships.

Stever Robbins
4-minute read
Episode #45

Today's topic is deepening and building relationships. The quick and dirty tip is to say thank you.

Miriam from California writes:

My favorite Get-it-Done Guy podcast, "Filing," inspired me to rethink my filing. I've enclosed a photo. (Which you can find here, or linked in the resources at the bottom of the page.)

I am a 7th grade science teacher. . . . They say that a teacher rarely gets to reap the seeds sown so I wanted to make sure you knew someone out there is listening and benefiting from your podcast.

Wow! Miriam is so on to something. And not just recognizing my humble perfection—she's nailed the value of gratitude. Saying thank you is powerful. After Miriam's letter, I started paying close attention to thank-you's and gratitude.

Everywhere was full of opportunity! A checkout clerk said, while staring blankly ahead in a vague daze, "ThankYouForShoppingAtOurStoreIHopeYouFoundWhatYou'reLooking ForHaveANiceDay." It was amazing; it was all one word. I flicked dust into her eye, so she'd flinch and have to make direct eye contact. Once we had a connection, I filled myself with a profound sense of gratitude, looked deeply into her eyes, and said, "You're Welcome. Thank you for helping me out." She was so appreciative she even arranged for a police escort for me out of the building.

In American culture, at least, receiving a heartfelt “Thank-you” is rare. Yet, showing appreciation is a simple and powerful way to bond with people.

Appreciation bonds people

Why do you think fraternities paddle their members and make them say, “Thank you sir; may I have another?” The naive may think it’s the shared humiliation and comforting beer-and-dirty-socks smell of the frat house. Not at all! It’s the “Thank-you” that creates the bond, not the spanking, though I see how some people could enjoy that part.


About the Author

Stever Robbins

Stever Robbins was the host of the podcast Get-it-Done Guy from 2007 to 2019. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a BS in Computer Sciences from MIT.