How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

Many of today's parents refrain from hitting as a form of discipline, but there is still something many of us do that can be just as bad - yelling! Mighty Mommy has 6 tips to help you become a more peaceful parent.


Cheryl Butler,
December 9, 2013
Episode #259

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Tip #4Think Like a Teacher

The best teachers don't yell or take children's misbehavior personally, but instead look at it as a learning opportunity.   

So if your kid leaves the milk carton empty in the fridge or the wet towels all over the bathroom floor, ask yourself: What does he need to learn and how can I teach him that? Maybe he needs a note posted on the refrigerator door to remind him about the milk? Maybe he needs to experience the consequences for leaving the towels strewn throughout the bathroom (such as not giving him a ride to the movies on Friday night). Think about ways to make the situation into a teachable moment, rather than a stressful shouting match

See also: 5 Ways to Say Yes to Your Kids


Tip #5: Turn Your Voice Into a Whisper

Even when you're not angry, you may find yourself yelling “Get in the car! We're late for practice!” If you make a softer voice a habit, you'll be less prone to yell at other times too.  When I turn the volume down and whisper to my kids, it gets their attention immediately because they know I have something important to say. 

One trick to try: Speak to your family members only when you're in the same room whenever possible instead of yelling from room to room.

Tip #6: Be a Role Model 

The next time you hear one of your kids yelling at their sibling or friend, take the time to listen to what he’s saying.  Often, kids parrot the same words we use when we yell or talk badly to them.  This is a great reminder to model respectful tones and words when you’re talking to your kids, spouse, and others in your close circle, because kids will repeat what they learn from you.

And remember your role as their parent. When you resort to screaming, you're forfeiting a piece of your authority.  By yelling, you lower yourself to the level of a child who doesn’t know any better.  You can’t gain respect from your children by shouting at them, but you can by acting as a responsible parent authority who is in charge with a calm, controlled manner.  

See also: 5 Ways to Speak Positively to Your Child


How do you stop from yelling?  Share your thoughts in the comment section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy or post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. You can also connect with me on Twitter @MightyMommy or e-mail me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com.  Visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT.

Parenting has plenty of moments that can take us over the edge, but if we have some tools in place to help us stay calm and not lose control, these moments don’t have to get to us. Look for ways you can refrain from yelling when your child does something to push your buttons and you’ll soon find the mood shift to a much happier one in your household.  Until next time, Happy Parenting!

Screaming mother, fighting parents, and other images courtesy of Shutterstock.


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