The first days following a student’s return from college rarely meet the expectations of the student, the parents, or the rest of the family. Mighty Mommy sat down with her own college kids to discuss this pivotal time and shares five tips for making the transition easier.
Tip #3: Give Them Breathing Space
This is so hard, since you might not have seen them in months. It goes against the nature of being a parent, but your young adult needs their space and privacy upon their college return. Try not to hover about in their bedroom to collect their pounds of dirty laundry or get a glimpse of anything they might have brought home that has any real personal meaning. Yes, you’re trying to be helpful, but if they can’t have room to breathe and get acclimated to life at home, the summer is going to start off tense and with unnecessary friction. See Also: 6 Ways to Create a Happier Family Life
Tip # 4: Curfew?
The majority of college kids that live on their own do not worry about a curfew. My kids straight out asked if they would still have a curfew during the summer or if we trusted them to make that decision on their own. I really believe this depends on your individual child and knowing their personality traits, if they are generally responsible and can handle the freedom that comes with having a curfew lifted.
Personally, we don’t set a curfew for our college kids in the summer, but we make it very clear that this also doesn’t mean wandering in the house well after midnight each night because that affects the other family members who are sleeping and it’s just not necessary to be out on the town well into the wee hours of the morning night after night. As mentioned earlier, as long as I get a text or a phone call stating they will be later than usual, a set curfew is not necessary. Because of this it’s very unusual for my older kids to be out very late because they know we have a mutual understanding and trust.
Tip #5: Show Them the Love
With all the changes both your student and you and your family will be getting used to, it’s important to focus on the joy factor of having them home again. I look back to those first few weeks when one of my kids has moved to college and remember the angst I would feel of being separated from them for the first real lengthy period of time. Now they’re back home again, safe, healthy and as an independent young adult. It really is cause for celebration so spoil them with their favorite home baked cookies or without smothering them verbally, share with them why you’re happy to have them home for the summer. I also ask them to save some time for me every once in a while so we can have a meal together or do some of the fun things we used to do when they were at home. When you show them the love, you set the foundation for a more peaceful summer where you all appreciate one another. See Also: 5 Effective Ways to Connect With Your Teen
How do you transition your college kids home for summer break? Share your thoughts in the Comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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How do you encourage acceptance with your kids? Share your thoughts in the Comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page, or email me at email@example.com.
Also visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT.