Bad Valentine’s Day Gifts

By now dozens of companies have been knocking at your door, and invading your inbox, reminding you that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I can’t tell you how stressful this is. The pressure is on to pull off something super romantic on February 14..

As I’ve said many times before, I consider myself a romantic at heart. I try every day to remind my wife how much she means to me. Yet, on Valentine’s Day the anxiety to show your loved one how much they mean to you, tends to come down to exactly that…how much?

And therein lies the issue with pulling off a wonderfully romantic Valentine’s Day that would make Nicholas Sparks, “This guy is a keeper!”

As you prepare to wrack your brain – and wallet – for ideas that will make your loved one shout with joy, let me give you one piece of advice: Slow your roll.

Finding the perfect romantic gift is not that easy, but getting a dud is. So with that, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for how to avoid the bad Valentine’s Day gift:

Tip #1: You Spent How Much?

Cost is a big issue when it comes to Valentine’s Day gifts. People tend to go overboard because of the “deals” and “steals” and “limited time only” opportunities being offered this time of year. Didn’t we just get done with Christmas and Hanukkah?

My friend Kenny spent $1,000 – which he did not have – on his girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day gift (jewelry and flowers). He thought he was going to score big points for his over-the-top gesture and that would leave him off the hook for presents for the rest of the year. He was wrong. Come her birthday, only two months later, the girlfriend was expecting an even bigger gift than what he gave her on February 14th. Then, on their one year anniversary, a month after that, an even bigger gift…and he wasn’t even close to Christmas! Kenny was feeling the pressure of upholding his high roller status, but could not financially afford to.

We go big on one gift, thinking that’s enough for the year, only to find out the other person thinks it’s just the start.

This happens all the time. We go big on one gift, thinking that’s enough for the year, only to find out the other person thinks it’s just the start. You tend to forget the year is long and there are many holidays and events along the way.

However, let’s say Valentine’s Day is “your thing,” and you want to go big that day. If so, I suggest making sure your partner is aware that you may not be financially capable to do the same thing for the next few months.  But if your partner tells you, “What? You mean, this is it?” I suggest two things: one, dump them. And secondly…well, just stick to number one.

Gift giving comes from the heart, not the wallet.  If you decide to go all out for Valentine’s Day, go right ahead, however, be sure to have a conversation about the future so you aren’t caught off guard two months from then, saying, “What, you wanted something other than this picture frame?…Well, remember the diamond necklace I bought you in February, just two months ago…”

Tip #2: No Pets

How many times have you seen a commercial with a bouncing Golden Retriever puppy hopping out of a bright red box and into the arms of a beautiful woman? The ad may not even be for Valentine’s Day, but it makes people think, “I bet my loved one, would like that too!” Yes, they may indeed. But is a puppy the best kind of surprise gift? To me, this seems like a decision you make together.

Pets are a huge responsibility! In fact, huge is an understatement. My dog is awesome and I love him dearly, but we work around things to meet his needs. We do this because we planned on getting him and were ready to do what was needed to make his life happy. Yet, when you surprise someone with a pet as a gift, it’s very hard to return it. Yes, they may have always wanted a puppy, but now? What about their work schedule? Can they be home for it? What about the puppy’s food and health needs? Are they – and you for the matter – prepared for it? If you can’t emphatically nod yes to all of these, I recommend holding off on the pet as a Valentine’s Day gift. 

However, if you’re dead set on going the puppy route, here’s one thing you can do: Get a toy puppy instead. Hear me out.  Buy your loved one a stuffed animal of a puppy, then add a photo of a puppy (just any picture will do) along with a card that reads, “Let’s extend our hearts to a furry little friend like this guy!” Even let them know you did your research and have some websites prepared. And then bring up the discussion of how badly you want to get a puppy and share the roles together. Here you look very charming for bringing it up and now can properly plan for the right time to get it – together.

If you really need help on pets, you should also ask my fellow Quick and Dirty Tips expert The Dog Trainer. She has tons of info on raising a puppy.

Tip #3: Who’s Gift Is This?

Last year, my buddy Randy bought his wife a new grill for their deck as a Valetnine’s Day gift. Randy loves to grill and his old one had ran its course. It was time for an upgrade and so he chose Valentine’s Day as the occasion to get his wife a new one. Let me repeat that, HE (Randy) needed a new grill, and decided to get one for his wife as HER Valentine’s Day present.  

Do you see where I’m going with this?  

Oh, one other little factoid: Randy’s wife never once cooked anything on the grill – ever. But Randy thought she’d be blown away by the gift. I mean, what’s more romantic than 600 pounds of metal and gas, right? He even threw in some Omaha steaks to sweeten the deal. Randy, you romantic devil, you.

Look folks, you don’t have to be the best gift giver in the world, but you should at least get a gift that is for the intended person, and not you.  It would be like Randy’s wife giving him a new pair of high heel shoes. Clearly he would never use them. Same thing with the grill. Randy opted to splurge for what he needed, not what she wanted. Yes, they needed a new grill, but it was not the proper Valentine’s Day gift. That’s not even a gift at all. That’s just a Sunday trip to Sears…any Sunday at that.

When you go to buy your Valentine’s Day gift, think from the heart, and focus on your Valentine’s preferences. Don’t think about what they need, either. This is not a “Well, I knew you needed new floor mats for you car, so…” kind of holiday. The gift should express your love (no matter its cost).  If you do go with what you need or want, well, most likely you’ll have a lonely evening. But hey, you got 20 pounds of pure Omaha rib eye to keep you company.

If you have a manners question, I always look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career? Check out my book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!

Valentine’s Day gifts, dog gift, and upset woman images courtesy of Shutterstock.