Dinner Parties, Part One.
Some prefer to invite a larger number of people and just manage a larger group if everyone accepts, while others prefer to invite exactly the number they wish to have, and only invite additional people if spots become open. Both approaches have their downsides; the first approach might leave you with too many people (personally, I’m in the “more the merrier” camp); the second with some guests feeling slighted if they were invited very late.
This episode we’ll start the first of a two part series on hosting a dinner party.
Inviting Guests
The first thing you need to do when having a dinner party is to decide whom to invite. We’ve done an episode on creating a guest list, and we’ll put a link to that show in the transcript on the website. If you wish to be very formal, you may send an invitation by mail, but nowadays most people call, e-mail, or invite people in person. On-line invitation services are fine when coordinating a large group of people, but for an intimate dinner party a more personal or at least direct invitation is best. If you have an ideal number of guests in mind, you may need to find the dates your guests will be available if you are flexible about the date of your dinner, or perhaps invite a slightly larger number of people if you think some people will not be able to make it. Some prefer to invite a larger number of people and just manage a larger group if everyone accepts, while others prefer to invite exactly the number they wish to have, and only invite additional people if spots become open. Both approaches have their downsides; the first approach might leave you with too many people (personally, I’m in the “more the merrier” camp); the second with some guests feeling slighted if they were invited very late. As for the latter, it can also be OK to invite people at the last minute. You might say something like, “I was having a few people over for dinner, and it suddenly struck me how lovely it would be to see you and have you join the fun.”
Planning a Menu
Now that you have an idea of who is coming, you can plan or refine your menu. You should plan on providing all food and drinks for your guests, unless you have very close friends who really wish to help out. I believe your goal as host should be to provide your guests with a lovely, fun, interesting and carefree evening, and that the guests’ primary duties are to show up and have a good time. You should find out if any of your guests have dietary restrictions, and make plans to accommodate them as much as possible. It’s not that you have to be a short-order cook and provide each person with a different dish, but make sure at least part of the meal will be tasty and satisfying to all of your guests. If you have mostly dedicated carnivores plus a vegetarian or two, make sure that you’ve got enough meatless options to make up a good meal, and it’s also nice to enquire if your vegetarian guests would be upset or offended if you served meat. While it is your party and you are perfectly entitled to serve what you wish, the objective is to make the evening comfortable and enjoyable for your guests.
Setting the Table
Set the table before guests arrive. You might even want to do this the day before to save yourself time. You may set the table as formally or casually as you like, but do not use disposable dishes, flatware, glasses or napkins unless it is a picnic in the park. Everyone should have cloth napkins; they are not expensive and they are more environmentally friendly – simply throw them in with the rest of the laundry after each use. It’s nice to use a tablecloth or placemats, and put some low flowers and unscented candles on the table for a little decoration that will still allow your guests to see one another. If you want to be more formal, you can put out silverware for each course, but don’t feel that you have to be terribly fancy as sometimes a one-plate home-cooked meal is just fine.
Drinks and Hors D’oeuvres
In addition to the meal, you should have something for your guests to nibble on when they arrive. You can have something as simple as some nice cheeses, crackers, and olives to tide your guests over, or make a little antipasto platter, or cook up something more elaborate. Have some mixers and soft drinks at the ready, as well as some red and white wine, or perhaps even something bubbly to start off the evening. Dinner parties can get very expensive, so if you’re on a budget just keep it simple – the company and home cooking will be the most important things.
So here’s hoping all your dinner preparations go smoothly and easily and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.
Be sure to check out “Dinner Parties, Part Two” to find out what to do when your guests start to arrive.
Send your question and comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.com. The Modern Manners Guy is part of the quick and dirty tips network. Check out the other great shows at QuickAndDirtyTips.com.
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