Family Coming Into Town? Don’t Stress Out!
Your house is a home, not a hotel. As the holidays approach, Modern Manners Guy explains how to deal with family members coming into town.
Richie Frieman
With the December holidays quickly approaching, this is the biggest travel time of the year for many families. I’m sure lots of you are now anxiously— nervously—awaiting family members to visit you from all parts of the globe. Not coincidentally, this is the time of year when the Modern Manners Guy inbox fills with email from people asking about how to deal with family visits.
So I thought I’d take this moment to point out one major fact about inviting people into your home: It’s a home, not a hotel.
What this means is that you should be welcoming and follow the Domestic CEO’s advice for creating a comfortable guest room for your visitors, but please, do not feel that you have to turn your lives upside down to accommodate Uncle Tony and his fourth wife, Maggie.
That’s right, Modern Manners Guy is telling you not to go all out to make your relatives feel like they’re staying at the Ritz-Carlton. Just because you are being hospitable doesn’t mean you have to be in the hospitality field.
I know what you’re thinking: “Hang on a minute, MMG, I love my family and I want them to feel comfortable, so shouldn’t I pull out all the stops?”
Trust me, I understand! And I’m not saying that you should slack off and ignore your relatives. However, stressing yourself out to the extreme to accommodate guests is the opposite of what the holidays are all about. So make sure your guests have a private space to stay in (whether that’s a dedicated guest room or your living room couch surrounded by a screen), and plenty of fresh sheets, towels, toiletries, and a stocked fridge. Take care to find out about any dietary requirements in advance. Some folks may need soy milk instead of 2% and Splenda instead of sugar.
But that’s pretty much it. Again, you are not a servant, you’re family. And you want this time to be about being together, not about stressing out over how organized your picture frames are or if your pantry is properly color-coded. You shouldn’t worry that every aspect of your home is being judged (even if it is). And you shouldn’t feel the need to make them breakfast in bed every morning or bring them down juice in the middle of the night, like a bellhop.
In the end, do your part as a good host/hostess to make sure the house is neat and clean and comfortable, but please don’t stress yourself out about having family stay with you for the holidays. Let the stress come from the Thanksgiving dinner when Uncle Tony’s fourth wife curses him at the dinner table and walks out of the house. Now, you have problems!
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