Houseguest Manners

When you stay in another person’s home, or have guests stay with you, the situation can present many opportunities for awkwardness or misunderstanding, so here are a few tips to help make your stay or your guests’ visit a more pleasant experience.

How to be a Good Houseguest

When staying at someone’s house, be sure to bring a small gift for your hosts.  It can also be a good idea to take your hosts out for a meal during your stay if the opportunity presents itself.  

While you are a guest, try to store your clothes, luggage and toiletries away as neatly as possible.  Make your bed, and re-store a folding bed unless instructed to do otherwise by your hosts, and strip the bed, fold up blankets and tidy up the room after your last night.

During meals, you should offer to help in the preparation, and certainly help clear away dishes after the meal.  Note that cleaning etiquette may be different if there are household staff, in which case you should let them go about their normal activities.  In general, you should offer to help with household chores and pitch in whenever possible.

Bring your own toiletries with you; your hosts should provide you with sheets and towels, but if you are going to be at the beach you may want to bring your own beach towels.  Clarify the length of your stay in advance, and try not to overstay your welcome.  Bring enough clean clothing to last your stay, unless you have been specifically invited to use the laundry.   
 

A weekend is a reasonable period to stay, unless your host is a close friend or family member, or you have had to travel overseas to visit.  Remember that even if your host has told you a longer stay is fine, you should still try to limit your visit unless your host absolutely and repeatedly insists.

After your stay, be sure to send your hosts a thank you note and highlight some of the parts of your stay you enjoyed most.

How to be a Good Host

If you are hosting visitors, you may want to gently set some expectations about the length of your guests’ stay in advance.  Simply be clear in the invitation (“We would love it if you could come for the weekend.”) or inquire how long your guests’ intend stay if it is unclear. 

Make up your guests’ room or sleeping area with fresh linens and provide fresh towels and a fresh bar of soap.  Make sure that the area your guests will be using is clean, including mattress pads, comforters, and pillow ticking.  Try to make things as clear for your guests as possible by pointing out any closet or storage space they may use, which bathroom is for them, etc.  Provide your guests with some hangers, and have extra toiletries on-hand in case they are needed.  Have a nightlight on-hand so your guests can find their way around after dark, and provide them with an alarm clock and some reading material.  Give your guests as much autonomy in their space as possible, so they may feel at home and have a sense there is a place they can go if they desire to be alone.  
 

Let your guests know where things are in the kitchen, and also set expectations about which meals you plan to share.  Make it clear to your guests that they should feel comfortable making their own coffee and breakfast in the morning, and of course offer if they haven’t helped themselves.  

If guests have pets that you don’t want to have in your home, it is perfectly polite to tell them so in advance.  It is also completely appropriate to inform guests that smoking is not permitted in the house.

It is nice to have some information handy (maps, guides, etc.) about local activities, and you may want to jot down a list of good restaurants nearby, local transportation, museums, and so on.  Give your guests an idea of the daily schedule, and leave them some free time for activities on their own.  

In general, the most successful houseguest situations result from both parties making a strong effort; when hosts offer extra kindness to their guests and guests try to be as helpful and undemanding as possible.  

So here’s hoping you have a wonderful visit, and thank you for listening to quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.

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