Meeting Cancellation Etiquette

I just had to cancel a meeting that has been on the calendar for over a week. I feel awful about it, but the bottom line is, I can’t make it. The reason why is out of my control, but nevertheless, I had to write an embarrassing email to the meeting organizer, apologizing profusely. Maybe I’m taking the situation too seriously? Maybe it’s not a big deal for the person I’m meeting with? But as Modern Manners Guy, it drives me nuts!

Proper Meeting Cancellation Etiquette  

Sure, we’re all human and things come up that are outside of our control, so cancelling meetings is just a part of life. But that doesn’t mean you get off the hook so easily. When you do cancel, you have to make sure the other party knows where you are coming from and that you fall badly for wasting their time. And if you’re lucky, they’ll accept your future request.

So once you realize that you’ve triple-booked yourself for next Thursday, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for meeting cancellation etiquette:

Tip #1 – Yes, It IS Your Fault 

Yes, things got in the way. Yes, you double – even triple – booked. And now you find yourself steaming with frustration. But you can’t take that out on the person you are supposed to meet with. Whether it’s a make-or-break meeting with a powerful executive, or just coffee with a new intern on their first day, if you are canceling, you are at fault. When you cancel with someone, you are telling them that something came up that is more important than them. Maybe your reason is serious, like a family emergency, an office emergency, you became ill, etc. but still, something is overriding that person with whom you had plans. Very likely the person you canceled on will surely feel like you are making excuses and just trying to bail. 

So, when you have to cancel, put yourself in their shoes. Even if the person(s) you are meeting with is/are not “that important” to you, you have to see it from their perspective. That person has arranged their entire day around this meeting and now you are canceling. It not only messes up their day, it messes up their other meetings. So, when this happens, you must apologize tremendously. Tell them how sorry you are, and then reschedule right away. Also make sure they understand that you are opening up your schedule to work around theirs because of your mistake. This is not a fun situation, but you have to swallow your pride, accept that you have inconvenienced someone and try to make it right.

Tip #2 – Be Honest

The #1 rule in having manners is don’t lie. Don’t make up a story that will lead you down a path of other “stories” (which always happens). It’s pretty easy to tell when someone is lying, so unless you like being in hot water, don’t do it. I’m hoping that the person I just canceled with knows that I am not lying, but I can’t help but feel that they doubt me. They have no reason to, but I have a guilty conscience. I blame my mother. So when it comes to canceling meetings, don’t lie because you are bound to get caught. 

Generally, if you mess up and double-book or cancel at the last minutr, people may give you a second chance. I say may because I know that if I said always, it will come right back to bite me. See, I’m being honest, not lying. It’s that easy. If you just tell them, “I’m so sorry, I’m stuck in traffic and there is no way I’ll make the meeting. Please understand.” Or, “I’m so sorry but my previous meeting ran long and I won’t be able to meet today.” Don’t go with, “The craziest thing happened! I was getting ready for our 10 o’clock today and there was this burning house on the end of the street. So I did what any super human would do and ran over, grabbed not 1 but 18 people from the house and then put the fire out myself.” Okay, this is way overboard – and I hope no one plans on using this excuse. 

In the end, honesty is the ONLY way to go. Plus if you are doing business with the person, they will take you more seriously if you are upfront.  

Tip #3 – Make Up for it Next Time

By canceling your meeting, you have caused a domino effect for the other person’s day. Plus, now whatever they had worked on the night before to prepare for the meeting, is on hold. Even what you had planned is now on the back burner. And look, not all meetings are major, not all involve a tremendous amount of planning, but either way, your cancellation just mixes things up for everyone.

When you have to cancel a meeting, the first step is the apology, which we discussed in Tip #1. The second step is immediate rescheduling. And the third…,wait, Modern Manners Guy, there’s a third step? Well my friends, there is. 

The third step is to make up for your cancellation by making your next meeting as pleasant as possible for the other person. If you are meeting for coffee, buy them a cup. If you are going to lunch, pick up the bill. If you are supposed to meet at your office, have something like a fresh bottle of water, coffee, or snacks ready. These are little things that will go a long way to make amends.

Do you have a great story about a meeting cancelation fiasco? 

Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Check out my Modern Manners Guy Facebook page, follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT. And of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips.