Proper Lottery Etiquette

As I write this, the Mega Millions Lottery is well over $400 million. By the time this goes to my editor, it will be over $500 million, and I’m sure by the time you read this, it will either be won, or over $600 million. With all the frenzy swarming around the lottery these days, it seems that some people still don’t quite grasp the concept of the game. And yes, it is a game, not a retirement plan. For advice on that, check out Money Girl.

Proper Lottery Etiquette  

I admit it, even though my odds of winning are 1 in 176,000,000 (yes, that’s 176 million!), I’ve gotten caught up in the fun of “what if…” But while buying my tickets, I couldn’t help but notice all the bizarre habits that involve playing the lottery, be it for half a billion dollars or just one thousand.  So before you run out to play your lucky numbers, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for proper lottery etiquette:

Tip #1 – Don’t Rush 

As a novice lottery player, I had no idea how “urgent” it was to get my numbers. I’ve had at least a dozen people ask me if I’ve purchased my tickets yet. But last I checked, I had a good day or two before the drawing. And not that I’m procrastinating, I just didn’t realize it was a race! Sure, I got my lucky numbers, but they’re not going anywhere. Still, I keep feeling like I’m missing something. It seems that everyone is bowling over one another to get their tickets first. Does that really matter? Do you really need to leave work early to stop at the nearby 7-11? Last I checked there are about 10 places in a 2-mile radius of every American city that sells tickets, no?

If you find yourself obsessed with getting your tickets, I need you to take a breath and realize that it’s okay to be patient. Allow me shed some light on why and HOW the lottery works. The amount up for grabs gets higher because we buy tickets! Meaning, it’s highly unlikely for the stores to run out of them. Plus, whether you are the first person to pick your numbers or the last, you have the same chance as anybody else. If my numbers are the same as yours, we’d end up splitting the loot anyway. Got it? So, when you get the itch to drop everything, drive 90 miles per hour, push women and children out of the way to get your numbers in, just remember, it’s not going anywhere. All you have to do is buy your ticket before the drawing starts. Plenty of time, folks. No need to panic.

Tip #2 – It’s an Equal Playing Field

As I mentioned earlier, the chance of winning the Mega Millions is about 167 million to 1． So it’s an equal playing field for us all.  When you are buying your tickets, don’t get mad that someone in front of you is hogging all the numbers. Earlier this week, I was in line at the grocery store and this guy in front of me bought $100 worth of tickets. The woman behind me – who only planned on buying $5 worth – kept ranting about how unfair that was. Really? No matter how rich you are, no matter how tough you are, or even if you were voted “Best Body” in high school, we all have the same (bad) chances of winning the lottery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some people can buy more tickets than others, but in reality, does it matter? I mean, how often do you hear lottery winners say, “Well, I bought $5,000 worth of tickets and that’s why I won”? Not very often. It’s always some guy or gal in the middle-of-nowhere with a random story like, “Well, I was stopping for gas, and needed some gum, so I figured, why not?” 

So, when you go to buy your tickets, don’t worry about how many are being purchased. As I said, everyone has the same chance. And if you have to split $500 million with – GASP! – one other person, I think you’ll be okay. Plus, according to The Daily Beast there are some other things that all have an equal chance of happening to us, with better odds than the lottery:

1. Odds of death by vending machine: 1 in 112 million
2. Odds of having identical quadruplets: 1 in 15 million
3. Odds of becoming president: 1 in 10 million
4. Odds of becoming a movie star: 1 in 1.5 million
5. Odds of dying in an asteroid apocalypse: 1 in 12,500 (this one is way too close for my taste!)

As you can see, there’s a much better chance of you becoming the next Julia Roberts or Bruce Willis and flying a spaceship to an asteroid destined to collide with Earth, than there is of you winning the Mega Millions. So don’t sweat it.

Tip #3 – Be Prepared for the Consequences

First things first – if you win the lottery, I don’t feel bad for you. It’s not like you misunderstood the point of playing. “Wait, so I actually get $500 million dollars? No way!” It’s the same as a celebrity complaining about how awful their life is because they’re famous. They conveniently forget all those years they spent doing whatever it took to become famous in the first place. Still, many lottery winners like to sing the blues about how much of a burden being a multimillionaire is. Hogwash! I mean, there are shows on TV about people who to…sorry, I can’t even type this, it hurts so much…“struggle” with the aftermath of winning. Struggle? STRUGGLE!  Hey, gas is up to $5 a gallon, that’s a struggle. You are a multimillionaire because you bought a dollar ticket. Enjoy it.

So when you go to buy your ticket, understand what you’re getting into. If you beat the crazy odds and actually win, your life will change dramatically. You will most likely have people coming to you with their hands open. As well, it may be hard to talk about work with your old coworkers, considering you could very well buy whatever company you worked for and make everyone a Vice President. But understand this: what you want to do with your winnings is entirely up to you. If you want to treat all your friends to houses and cars, go for it. If you want to buy your parents their dream home, knock yourself out. And if you want to run off to some island and swim in a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck, never to be heard from again, well you have the right to do that, too. In the end, be prepared for whatever comes your way and I hope you will handle it properly by not treating your windfall as a curse. Smile and, if you can, do something positive with your money.

Good luck!

Do you have a great story about a lottery experience? Post all the details in Comments below.  

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Check out my Modern Manners Guy Facebook page, follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT. And of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips. 

Lottery Ticket image courtesy of Shutterstock