Road Trips

It’s been a while since our last podcast, and some listeners will notice that we’ve changed the name of the show. We’re also moving to a monthly release schedule for a while.

Today we’ll go through some pointers on road trips.

If you’re traveling with someone, either a short or long distance, many of the same principles apply that you would consider if you were visiting someone’s home. You should be courteous and respectful of the person’s car, and should be a good guest in general. If you’re leaving a party or event, and someone offers you a ride home, make sure the offer is genuine and not a terrible inconvenience. If you’re offering someone a ride, of course make sure your offer is sincere before asking. As a passenger, you should let others sit in the front seat, unless it’s just you and your host, or your host is insistent, or if you have a physical situation that makes sitting in the front more sensible. As the driver, you should try to make your passenger feel as welcome as possible.

If it’s just a short trip, there generally shouldn’t be any need to offer any compensation other than your deep thanks, although if you do need to stop for gas along the way you should offer to pay or contribute, but your host should generally decline. If your destination is far out of your host’s route, you might offer an alternative (like dropping you somewhere near public transit), but a good host should take you to the door, especially if it’s late at night, or if the weather is inclement. As the driver, you should wait until you see that your passenger is safely inside his or her home before departing.

If you’re going on a long trip, then some modified road rules apply. 

You should agree in advance on how to split expenses, generally splitting the gas and other travel costs, although the passenger might want to contribute a little extra towards the fuel costs, as the driver has the expense of the car and insurance as well. As a passenger, you should offer to split the driving, although the car owner should be the one to decide how the driving is divided. If you are the car owner, you should do at least half of the driving, but it is certainly your prerogative whether your passenger drives at all. If you are more comfortable doing all of the driving, that is fine (it is your car and your insurance after all), but don’t do this at anyone’s hazard if you’re too tired to drive.

As a passenger, you should try to keep things inside the car neat and clean; don’t ride with your feet up on the dashboard. Shake sand, mud or snow off your shoes before you enter the car, and don’t use it like a trash bin. Make a little extra effort to keep things clean, throw out the garbage at rest stops and offer to clean off the windshield and rear window at gas stations, unless you know the driver prefers you don’t do this. Buy a snack or beverage for your host if she or he needs it, and be a good companion in general. This may mean staying awake to help keep the driver alert, unless you’ve decided to take turns resting while the other one drives.

Be flexible about music along the way, and don’t be offended if you have something your fellow passenger doesn’t like. For long trips it’s good to agree in advance on music: who will bring what, how you decide what to play, and so on. One option is to let the driver pick the music, but give the passenger veto rights if there’s something he or she really can’t stand.

Remember that long trips in close quarters and the tiring routine of a long drive can wear on people’s nerves, so be prepared for a little conflict along the way, and discuss in advance how to handle it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of being prepared for some long stretches of quiet — don’t feel obligated to fill every moment with conversation. Also, as a passenger, try to think of things you can do to help the driver: whether it’s reading the map, coming up with an entertaining game to make the time pass, or just going along for the ride. If conflicts do arise, hopefully you can address them and let them go, as you’ll be spending a lot of time in close quarters.

Finally, be flexible, and go the extra mile to meet your copilot more than half way. A little extra effort (say in keeping the car clean, being respectful in terms of music, etc.) can go a long way towards letting your companion know that your heart is in the right place.

Send your question and comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.com. The Modern Manners Guy is part of the quick and dirty tips network. Check out the other great shows at QuickAndDirtyTips.com.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock