How to Control Your Communications
Europa was distraught. “The customer never called me back to place an order. Now I’ll never meet my quarterly numbers!” She’s working in the outbound sales division of Green Growing Things, selling Ficus trees to local businesses to help spruce up their environment. (Get it? Ficus trees? Spruce? Sometimes I’m so funny I can hardly stand it.)
She’s doing great on her outbound call volume. With the help of her cybernetic son, Thomas, she’s managing over 100 phone calls per hour. But customers aren’t calling back to place orders.
This happens all the time. A co-worker promises to get you information you need. A significant shmoopie promises to drop off the leather-and-lace feather duster assortment you ordered from Restoration Hardware. Then they don’t deliver, and you’re left with a dusty living room.
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We could get so much done in life if it weren’t for those pesky people who don’t get stuff done. Sure, in an ideal world, we would have a device that lets us take over their minds and turn them into mere instruments for carrying out our will, but as I lament more and more often these days, this isn’t an ideal world.
If they won’t move things forward, there’s only one person left to do it: you. You’re going to start taking matters into your own hands because, seriously, who wants to spend a lifetime waiting for other people to stand up and deliver?
Take Control of the Conversation
Whenever you’re dealing with another human being, mentally take control of the relationship. I don’t mean in the stiletto-heels-and-whips sort of way (how does anyone walk in stilettos, anyway?), but in the keep-things-moving-along way. Eliminate any expectations you have that they’ll pull their own weight in moving things along. That way, they won’t have the chance to cruelly reject you.
I was a popular child. The other kids always invited me to play with them (if by “invited,” you mean they ran in the other direction, called me names, threw rocks at me, and cruelly rejected me). I quickly learned that if I waited in my bedroom for the phone to ring it never would — this was back when phones were still physically attached to the wall. So I had to resort to picking it up and inviting them to my social events.
Always Follow Up
When you’re pursuing a prospect, a client, a job offer, or a shmoopie, don’t wait for them to call! After you’ve made the first move, don’t say “Let me know a few times when we can talk and we’ll put something on the calendar.” They will cruelly reject you by not writing back and you’ll die alone in a gutter.
Instead say, “Let’s meet next Wednesday at 3 pm. If another time would be better, just let me know.” You’ve put a stake in the ground. Now, if they want to cruelly reject you, they have to make the effort to propose a date and time.
Be the Caller
When you set up your appointment, always be the caller. Never say “Next Thursday, please call me at 212–555–3245.” First of all, that’s not your phone number, so if they do call, they won’t reach you. But more importantly, they can still flake out or cruelly reject you by simply not calling, even though you gave them a date and time.
Instead, get their number and call them. That way, you keep control all the way up to the moment when you reach them or go to their voicemail. If you go to their voicemail, tell them when you’ll call back next. Of course, if it’s the 19th time you’ve gone to their voicemail, you should probably take the hint and realize that they’re passively-aggressively saying “Thank you, but I’m not interested in continuing this relationship.”
Take Control of Action Items
When you finally reach them and have a satisfying, productive meeting, you will of course leave the meeting with specific action items for you each to do. Guess who will make sure that happens? You guessed it: you.
Most of the meetings those other people run never quite get to action items. No matter who’s running the meeting, make sure you end with everyone verifying what actions they’ll take and by when. Just say, “I want to be absolutely sure I understand what we’ll each do.” Then run through items and hammer the point home that you’re no pushover; you’re here to take names, kick butt, and get stuff done.
See also: How to Run a Good Meeting
Schedule the Next Call
Finally, when the meeting is done, declare it’s time to schedule the next call. Once again, you drive the process. Choose the date, time, and location. If they say “We don’t have our calendar right now,” say, “That’s fine! Let’s just tentatively set a date. Let me know if that doesn’t work.” Then email everyone and remind them. Once again, you can always reschedule, but by having something on the calendar, you can be sure things will move ahead even if you have no further communication until then.
A year ago, a young man named Eric, saw me give my Living an Extraordinary Life presentation and asked me to be his mentor. I told him yes, as long as he did all the work. He did. He called, suggested dates and times to get together, had me commit to a time and place, and followed up to make sure we kept a meeting on the calendar. As a direct result, he’s gotten free coaching and advice that I normally charge tens of thousands of dollars for.
There’s power and strength to making things happen. And surprisingly few people step up to do it. It’s really not very hard, and it’s an essential part of leadership. When you want to connect with someone, you set the date. You make the calls. You keep the conversation on track, and make sure everyone knows what actions to take next. Keep the ball rolling and rather than being the victim of everyone else’s flakiness, you’ll be the master of your—and their—competence.
See also: How to Be a Better Leader
This is Stever Robbins. Email questions to getitdone@quickanddirtytips.com.
If you or anyone you know wants to change the world, I can help with strategy, communications, networking, and growth strategies for your organization. Contact me through my website SteverRobbins.com.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
Man on the Phone image from Shutterstock