Author: Stephen Snyder, MD

Dr. Stephen Snyder is a sex and relationship therapist in New York City and Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine. He's also the author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship


It is a truth universally acknowledged that among the most dreaded four words anyone can hear from a partner are “We need to talk.” I looked up “We need to talk” on Urban Dictionary. According to one contributor, the phrase means “Listen to me now or I’m walking out the door.” Another defined it as “The end of your relationship, or something that could mean the end of your relationship unless you take it really seriously.” A third suggested it was “the perfect time to fake a heart attack.” However you define it, these four words are clearly something you…

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I’m sitting in my office, listening to a patient of mine tell me about something that happened over the weekend. His wife was in a bad mood, and he couldn’t figure out what to do about it. Whenever he’d say something to try to be helpful, she’d say it was the wrong thing to say. But whenever he gave her space, she’d say she felt abandoned. I’m listening as best I can, not sure exactly how to help. (correction_with_script) Halfway through the hour, he interrupts the story, gives me a pained look, and says, “I’m worried you’re not really interested…

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Open relationships get a lot of press these days. According to one prominent online women’s magazine, of the ten most Google-searched relationship questions of 2017, number six was “What is an open relationship?” and number four was “What is a poly relationship?” (correction_with_script) To me, that seems paradoxical. I mean, how many couples these days have enough time and energy for even one relationship, let alone two or more? The plain truth is that opening up your relationship—taking on more than one partner—usually creates more problems than it solves. But hey, so does having kids. So if you’ve really got your heart set on…

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You and your partner seem to be at a crossroads. The two of you haven’t really connected in a while. Most nights, you just lie on the couch together watching TV. You wonder if your partner even notices there’s anything wrong. What should you do? Most often, when people feel that they’re not really connecting, it’s because they’ve stopped having intimate conversations. Reconnecting starts with an intimate conversation An intimate conversation contains three things: you, me, and a feeling. Those three things together are like rocket-fuel for emotional closeness in a relationship. Like any other kind of fuel, though, you…

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You and your partner seem to be at a crossroads. The two of you haven’t really connected in a while. Most nights, you just lie on the couch together watching TV. You wonder if your partner even notices there’s anything wrong. What should you do? Most often, when people feel that they’re not really connecting, it’s because they’ve stopped having intimate conversations. Reconnecting starts with an intimate conversation An intimate conversation contains three things: you, me, and a feeling. Those three things together are like rocket-fuel for emotional closeness in a relationship. Like any other kind of fuel, though, you…

Read More

It is a truth universally acknowledged that among the most dreaded four words anyone can hear from a partner are “We need to talk.” I looked up “We need to talk” on Urban Dictionary. According to one contributor, the phrase means “Listen to me now or I’m walking out the door.” Another defined it as “The end of your relationship, or something that could mean the end of your relationship unless you take it really seriously.” A third suggested it was “the perfect time to fake a heart attack.” However you define it, these four words are clearly something you…

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Your partner seems to be spending more and more time playing their favorite online video game. They’re up late at night playing, long after you fall asleep. They no longer have much interest in sex. You ask them to cut down, but you don’t get much response. What do you do? Can you really be addicted to video games? Most people these days live in two worlds—the real world, and the online world. As we’ve discussed before, in episode 3 of Relationship Doctor, this has serious implications for intimate relationships in the 21st Century. 75 percent of American households include at least one video…

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