This past weekend, three friends and I flew to Las Vegas to strike it rich. The American Dream, right? However, the only thing I scored big on was buffets (on a side note, the buffet at The Wynn Casino is probably what heaven is like.) Hardly the “Jackpot lifestyle” I had hoped for.

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Whether you like gambling or not (I, for one, am NOT a big gambler), the one thing I believe everyone can agree with is that casinos are a breeding ground for unmannerly behavior. Not the luxury hotels, glamorous spas, million dollar pools or celebrity restaurants– I mean the actual casinos themselves. Oh… dear… Lord… where have all the manners gone? So, before you double down on that Jack, check out my top 3 quick and dirty tips for proper casino etiquette.

Tip #1: Know When To Fold Them

In “The Gambler,”  Kenny Rogers sings this very important life lesson: “You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run.”  Well, on my recent trip, I had many opportunities to fold and walk away before things went south.

To me, the highs of winning were nothing close to the lows of losing, so knowing when to walk away was, and is, rather easy for me. I mean, my “limit” of $10 a hand isn’t exactly what they make movies about! I would like to say that I “bet it all” on one hand, or hit the big jackpot on my last dollar, but my life is not a movie. Sorry, Hollywood.

So with a lot of time to kill while others gambled for enormous payouts, I spent my time people-watching, and realized there is a thin line between knowing when to hit on 15 or, as the Gambler says, to “walk away.”

Not being a seasoned gambler, my $100 losses aren’t as tough to deal with as someone losing $1,000 or $10,000, but a “loss” is still a loss. And it hurts both financially, as well as emotionally. Some would say the latter is more extreme. With that, you have to figure out how willing you are to take the more-likely lows with the rare highs.

So while I was enjoying my complimentary watered-down casino drinks, it dawned on me that many people don’t know that limit. I understand the lure of riches clouds our judgment, but it’s highly improper to believe that in an instant, your life will change, thanks to a casino.  When people forget this fact, they push themselves to dangerous edges, and everything about their demeanor changes. People get madder, get violent even, or worse, lash out at those around them verbally or physically. This is a sign of a more serious problem.

When you witness this, you have to remember what Rogers said and simply, “walk away.” If someone around you improperly understands the concept of mature gambling, they will likely not care about your wellbeing. And if you are the one that is caught in the casino’s web of false promises, it’s time to cash your chips, and truly think about your current situation over a calm cup of coffee.

Tip #2: Never Go Solo

I never go solo to a casino. Why? Well, to me, I believe that gambling alone is a lot like drinking alone. And I don’t mean like drinking a beer in your house while you watch the game- I mean throwing down hard liquor at home when you are alone and feeling down. As much as I enjoy a nice drink, alcohol is a depressant and breeds bad decisions when you do it alone. Plus, I think everyone can attest that enjoying a “cold one” with friends is much better than flying solo.

Casinos want you to be alone; they make more money when someone else can’t talk you out of a dangerous hand, and it’s easier for them to keep you there.

Hear me out– I’m not trying to get all preachy about drinking, but you can see the similarities in gambling and alcohol consumption. So when it comes to visiting casinos, understand that they wish you were alone. They make more money when someone else can’t talk you out of a dangerous hand, and it’s easier for them to keep you there.

When you gamble alone, you are on your own clock, with no one to tell you it’s time to go, or when to stop. When you’re in a casino alone, it’s very much like being a dog without a pack, in a world full of wolves.

Take my past weekend with my three friends: I hardly gamble, one other guy only casually plays, and the other two gamble all the time. In this situation, I had no intentions of watching them for hours on end, nor did they care to have me standing behind them making them nervous. But we all knew we were there for one another, so we made time to be together, rather than just gambling the day away. I let them do their thing, and then we took breaks to eat, and do touristy things together, even catching a show. 

Being together made our time more enjoyable, but it also allowed for them to both get their fix, and have the much needed breaks from the casinos. Whether the people around you play the role of fellow gambler, counselor, or just a dining companion, it’s always proper to bring people with you to monitor something that has a very good chance of getting out of hand.

Tip #3: Remember the Eyes In The Sky

In a recent Newsletter article, I talked about Unmannerly Gamblers, particularly referencing a young man named Shawn who had too much to drink while gambling this past weekend. Unfortunately for us, Shawn sat down at the same black jack table as my friends and I, and spent a good hour breaking every mannerly law in the book.

For starters he was completely inebriated, to the point at which most people would have just passed out. I’m pretty sure the pit bosses were watching him closely. Secondly his language mirrored that of a gangster rap album, with so many expletives you would have thought his vocabulary consisted solely of four letter words. And lastly, his over the top celebrations–which consisted of hugging my friend next to him–and his lows–which consisted of smacking the table with his hands and yelling at his cards–was enough to make most dealers want to quit. Bottom line, Shawn was a walking time bomb of immaturity. Needless to say the “eyes in the sky” were watching his every move.

For those unfamiliar with who or what the “eyes in the sky” are, it’s means the thousands of cameras in the casino that watch over your every move. If you’re cheating, expect to be caught and carted off by some rather unsympathetic security guards. And like Shawn, if you start to lash out, or get too drunk (side bar: casinos want you to get drunk enough that you make bad bets, but not so much that you’re a distraction to others), you will have a gang of men show up that would make even the toughest cage fighter cower in fear.

Andt this doesn’t just go for people who drink too much. If you’re over-the-top-wild when completely sober, that’s just as bad. They hold no bias.

So, is the threat of being carted out by your neck, or possibly even banned from a casino, worth the erratic behavior? I think not. Have fun, go big, bet the house… just don’t get arrested. I mean, it’s one thing to tell your parents, spouse, or coworkers that you got lost it big at the roulette table…but it’s a whole other thing to have to tell them from the pay phone in jail.

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

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Photo of crazy gambler courtesy of Shutterstock.com.