The Pushy Person’s Guide to Charity Donations

If you’ve been living under a rock for the past month, you may have missed the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. This creative–and hilarious–challenge involves people taking videos of themselves pouring a bucket of ice water (hence the name) over their head, and challenging their friends to do the same–all in the name of ALS awareness. I even took part in the exercise, along with my two kids. Here’s the video!.

A verbal “challenge” that’s passed around between friends and family (and, now, also celebrity to celebrity,) the Ice Bucket Challenge has reached millions of people, and increased donations to ALS by over 1,000%.

Unlike the fun tone of this donation drive, however, there are some people that approach charity donations (and recruitment) with rather bullish techniques, scaring people off in the process.

So with that, let’s learn how not to be the most annoying charity organizer on the planet with The Pushy Person’s Guide to Charity Donations.

Tip #1: Do Not Hound People

Let’s kick this conversation off with the most annoying of all things related to gung-ho charity organizers: hounding people repeatedly.

Last month, my friend Jake emailed me (and all of his friends and family) about a charity he was working with. The email explained his cause, and asked for a minimum donation of $50. I was proud of Jake for stepping up to make a difference; however, I did not donate. Why? Well, frankly, after reading his email, I forgot. I admit it. However, Jake did not forget.

Two days later, he sent a “friendly” email reminder with a news article pertaining to his charity. But again, I did not donate. Well, it turns out I was not the only one who didn’t, because Jake sent out another email that lacked the jovial spirit of the ones before. In this email, Jake ranted (and I use this term loosely) about how important his cause was, how we were all being selfish, and, of course, that we were all too busy with own lives to care about others. Needless to say, once again, I did NOT donate.

Simply put, you cannot hound someone when it comes to charity – regardless of if you’re a spokesperson or not. Here’s how a conversation about giving should go:

You: “I’m organizing a fundraiser for XYZ charity. If you want to donate, let me know.”

Person A: “Great, thanks.”

And this is the end of the conversation.

I’m sorry, folks–this is about as invasive as you should get when it comes to speaking the gospel about your cause. If someone wants to donate, they will. You can’t badger them for money, or shake them down with email rants. Is it okay to put out reminders? Of course! However, do it with tact.

First, send out the initial email, and let people know where they can go for more information, or how to contact you with any questions. Secondly, keep the rest of the interaction strictly to social media: if you want to rally behind your cause, post an article on Facebook (a great place for charity,) or send a tweet about it. This way, you are talking about it, and raising awareness, without targeting individuals directly for not giving.

If people want to give, they will. You can’t assume they have tons of cash lying around, or be upset when they don’t give to your cause. Be respectful of people’s time and money, and allow them to come to you. Don’t guilt them into donating, just so your cause can benefit.

Tip #2: Your Cause Is The. Most. Important. Thing EVER!

As I said in Tip #1, Jake’s harassing was a complete turn off. I mean, do you think calling me lazy and selfish will make me donate? I doubt anyone else was quick to whip out their credit cards after his email, either. And this is what happens when people think their cause is the single most important event on the planet.

Many charity-givers naively assume that the people they are approaching don’t have other charities that may interest them, as well. But here’s the deal: for every one cause, there are a thousand different charities that focus on something different. Regardless of which city it’s in or who it’s named after, there is a cause for anything and everything. However, as with Jake, the pushy charity-giver will do whatever it takes to make their charity reign supreme. Sadly, this defeats the purpose.

No one wins when you rudely discredit another charity over your own. When it comes to donating to one charity over another, people often say things like:

• “Well that charity already has enough money!”
• “That charity doesn’t donate all the money they raise.”
• “Yes, but THIS charity is local, THAT charity is in another state!”

What do you expect me to say to that? “Well, gosh–when you explain it like that, I guess I’m a moron for liking another charity over yours!” Really, people? I don’t know where to place the blame–the charity heads demanding results, or the eager campaign hands that do the manual labor.

Regardless, I think that people’s passion to make a change often fogs their common sense, and alienates others. Yes, caring is key when raising money, but it’s unmannerly to assume what you do is better than what someone else is doing. Look at a charity like Susan G. Komen, which raises tens of millions of dollars every year; they may be a leader in breast cancer awareness… but does that mean I can’t donate to another charity I feel is doing good work, as well?

Size, status, and proclamation do not make a charity the “best.” A charity can be a “leader” based on donations, but that is all. It’s like trying to say which artist is the “best of all time,” when everyone has their own tastes. Every charity is different, and you have to choose from your gut–not from what someone is trying to convince you is “right.”

Tip #3:  Size Doesn’t Matter

As I said in Tip #2, when you try to pit one charity against another, declaring its dominance in the field, you miss the point of charity all together. The only–I repeat, the ONLY–thing you should ever be trying to do when it comes to a cause is raise awareness.

If that means you and your friends donate money, great. If it means millions of people dump buckets of ice over their heads and record it (making us laugh)–even better! Every single thing you do to regarding a charity should be about raising awareness, rather than raising money. Yes, I know money helps, and it’s needed. And yes, I know that a charity can make a bigger impact when it has millions of dollars, over one that has only a couple of grand in the bank. However, bigger does not always mean better.

Size only matters when we’re dealing with buffets and cups of coffee…because I will always go to a buffet that looks like it could double for a landing strip, and coffee cups can’t ever get big enough…but I digress. Charities who are large in size have surely done something right, but even something like Susan G. Komen started out of someone’s house, at one point. As I said in the beginning, it’s rude to call someone out for not accepting your charity, when they might like another, regardless of the cause or size.

Giving back should be a selfless act that comes from the heart. Be it $10 or $1,000, that’s your call; just don’t base your beliefs on what the cool kids are doing. There are many ways to show your support, but in the end, the only proper way to do that is to offer guidance if someone asks–and not push them into debt.

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!

Photos of pushy man and charity volunteer courtesy of Shutterstock.