Don't Be a Holiday Party Pooper
Holiday party poopers should leave their baggage at their door.
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Dear Holiday Party Poopers,
We all know the saying, "Every party has a pooper." But when it comes to the holiday season, it seems that card-carrying Party Poopers turn it up a notch. From sulking around about failed relationships at dinner parties, moping about during a family get together, or drowning their sorrows in several rounds of Mind Erasers during the office holiday party, Party Poopers flat out stink (no pun intended!). But have no fear, we can all tolerate their arrogance and negativity tactfully and respectful by following my top three quick and dirty tips for Holiday Party Poopers.
Tip #1: The Relationship Party Poopers
lf you’re new to the show, welcome, but for those already members of Mannerly Nation, you know that I love talking about relationships on the show. Well I should say, you love talking about relationships, since my inbox is inundated with emails regarding improper dating. However, when it comes to the holidays, the effects of failed romances and/or lack there of are amplified to new levels. Now, let me just say, I’m not being insensitive to single people during the holidays or any other time of the year for that matter. What I’m saying is that if you decide to ruin an entire night or event by making said night or event solely about YOU and YOUR dating life, well, my unmannerly friend, that not only makes you a Grade A Party Pooper, it also makes you an arrogant shmuck (as my Grandma Naomi says). So, if you do plan to “number two” all over your friend’s well planned holiday party, take a step back, and dial down the crazy … for just a couple of hours. That’s it—just a couple of hours.
Again, I’m not being cruel to all the lonely hearts out there, I’m just speaking for the other 99% of the room who loves you for who you are, with or without a romantic partner. Despite what you think, the holidays are not about kissing under the mistletoe or during the ball drop on New Years. I know that every commercial and movie this time of year seems like you’re surely missing out on life if a romantic partner isn’t there to exchange gifts with you. But don’t fall victim to crappy advertising. Instead, stick to the basics of “holiday spirit” which are—and always will be—about being around those that care the most about you. So if someone doesn’t want to be with you this time of year, thank them for one less present you have to buy and for this night. It’s only proper to leave the baggage at your door before you go to a party. Yes, proper friends will support you in down times, however, at a party you can’t take the group’s attention off the event and onto you. Now, knowing that your friends may ask, “Where’s so-and so?” simply wave it off, add a quick laugh, and try to bring back the conversation to a more cheery topic. Try something like, “Eh, it didn’t work out… Yeah I know… I’ll fill you in later though. It’s not worth getting into here.” With that, do follow up with an email like, “Sorry about the other night, but I didn’t feel it was proper to talk about it there. Let’s meet up for coffee. I’ll fill you in.” Real friends will understand and respect you for not bringing down the vibe of the house by being a Party Pooper.
Tip #2: The Office Holiday Party Poopers
I have to admit, I have a sick soft spot for improper office party stories. In fact, I even wrote an article called Conquer the Office Holiday Party to help struggling employees master the room like a champ. However, apparently despite my loyal following, that episode wasn’t read by every single person on the planet. I know, impossible, right? Ugh! Some people. Because trust me, I wish the image of Tom Hanks wearing a magical white tuxedo and nearly puking after eating caviar was the worst thing I ever saw or heard about. Sadly—or fortunately for comical reasons only—office holiday parties tend to bring out the inner-party animal in the wildest of coworkers and the Office Party Poopers who feel they’re too good for school.