Gift Giving Etiquette for a Second Wedding

When someone takes multiple shots at holy matrimony, how does that affect the gift giving situation?

Richie Frieman
5-minute read
Episode #339

Tip #2: The Gift History

As I mentioned in Tip #1, Mark’s two gifts were about $1,300, which is crazy! I mean, he’s one heck of a generous brother.  Even though Mark has a big heart with an impressive track record for gifts, his reputation for being a “great gift giver” is not something that binds him to a particular price point each time. For starters, people’s lives change day-to-day, let alone year-to-year, and that's a big factor on the price someone is willing to spend on items for themself, let alone for a wedding gift.  One year, someone could be killing it at work, and then next year have a less-than-successful run. It happens. Even though this is a fact of life, many people won’t want to talk about it (and they shouldn’t have to), so the added pressure of being a super-duper gift giver comes with even more pressure because someone may not be as financially stable to pull it off. 

Secondly, when you buy a gift for a person you care about that rivals what Floyd Mayweather Jr. would spend, only to see said gift lost to the other party in a divorce, you can’t help but be sour about it. Take Mark—he spent a lot of money on two gifts that his brother will never see again. And for what?

See also: How to Protect an Expensive Gift


Like I said, a gift is about the thought, not the size, not the dollar amount, and not based off the bank account of the gift giver.  It’s highly improper for a couple to expect a big gift from someone simply because their past gifts have been legendary. This is simply inappropriate thinking on the couple’s part, and no one should feel pressured to live up to something they did in the past. Each wedding, party, event, etc., has its own balance of price and thoughtfulness, and a second wedding (although special) is a completely different event with new rules in place.

Tip#3: The Relationship Between the Gift Giver and Receiver

In Mark’s case, it was his brother and best friend. So, a nicer-than-normal-gift is probably expected.  Not by price I should point out, not by his history of gifts, but just because he’s closer to his brother than the other guests are. Despite his close relationship, though, Mark still has his limits. If, however, unlike Mark, a guest is not a blood relative but just a friend, at what point is he or she obligated to bring in the big, baller-style gifts time after time… after time? Should a bride or groom be upset because their “bestie” didn’t come through as well as they would have hoped based off the past wedding? No, not at all! Where in Tip #1 time is a factor, and in Tip #2 a gift giver’s history is taken into account, the point I bring up here is that with each gift, you have to weigh the relationship you have with the person getting married and if it’s a second wedding, that is an added factor to consider.