Teenage Courtship

The pursuit of young love.

Adam Lowe
4-minute read
Episode #40

We're happy to to have guest contributor Trent Armstrong's help in answering a young listener's question about the pursuit of love.

We recently received an e-mail from a young man, whose name we'll leave out to protect his privacy:

“There is a girl that I can't stop thinking about. I really want to call her, but I am not sure what to do if my parents found out I called a girl. I am thirteen years old (almost) going on fourteen.”

First we'd like to thank you, our young listener, for writing in, and ask you to take heart. Know that you are not alone in your feelings, and yes, even your parents at the tender age of thirteen or fourteen experienced emotions much like those you are dealing with today. But becoming a parent means thinking about the well-being of your child, and helping him or her to take the right steps in life, even if they are not always the easiest ones.

So what should you do? Take a deep breath and talk to your parents about it. It's possible that the only people on the face of the earth more afraid of this discussion than you are your parents. They've probably been thinking about this conversation since before you were born, while you've only been worried about it for a few months. You might start by asking your parents if they ever had a crush on anyone when they were young. Give them a chance to remember how they felt at your age.

Your parents may not have thought about rules for this type of situation yet, but going to them to ask for advice is a very responsible thing to do. You do run the risk that they won't want you to call the young lady, and this could be truly heartbreaking. But it is up to you to follow the guidance of your parents at your young age. It's important to have an open and trusting relationship with your parents, even if it means risking that they won't always choose the thing that you think is best.

If you do get permission to make the call, here are a few things to keep in mind.